A Totally Unconventional Resume!

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Ryan, sleeping; Larry; & me, the goofy one in bib-overalls at Venice Beach, CA

 

I thought it’d be interesting & fun for once to compose a honest, personal, & break all the rules kind of Resume and see if there are any employers out there who also dare to think outside the box???

 

  1. I’ve been obsessed with learning since kindergarten. My mom said I’d get up early, get myself dressed–shoes often on the wrong feet–and walk down to the school and be waiting for them to open the doors & she’d take me back home until it was time to leave.
  2. When I was in the 6th grade, I was reading at the 11th grade, sixth month level but not once in the six years of secondary school, did a counselor call me in & tell me I should apply/prepare for college. In fact, my high school didn’t even offer classes like physics, calculus, trigonometry, chemistry, etc. When I started college & wanted to study to become a forest ranger I was told that I should have had these classes in high school.
  3. I went through secondary school in an inner city town called Paramount, right across the L.A. riverbed from the infamous Compton. It was a tough area to grow up in but we were a tight-knit group of friends.
  4. After high school, I joined the Army because my number was so low in the lottery that I knew they’d have me pretty soon & the army had the least amount of time (2 years).
  5. After my first week in Basic Training in the army, they kept taking me & 4 or 5 other guys to these special meetings with high ranking officers promising us the moon if we’d re-up and go to OCS (Officer Candidate School). They told us they’d station us wherever we wanted in the world and train us in whatever we wanted. I told them that I didn’t even want to be squad leader. We were in Vietnam at the time & though I wasn’t politically aware, I trusted my gut instincts & kept going AWOL until I got out with a General Discharge under other than honorable conditions.
  6. My brother, Tim, died of a heroin overdose when he was 18 yrs. old & I was 22 yrs. old. I beat the Hell out of him. I called the cops on him. I hugged him & told him I loved him but he wouldn’t stop. My mother was in denial and I had to take over and make all the funeral arrangements.
  7. I started hitch-hiking and made several trips up & down the West coast and across the U.S. in 1974 on $26.
  8. I’ve had hundreds of Mickey Mouse jobs, here’s a sampling: gas station jockey, fast food, Radiography (Industrial X-Ray), delivery, manufacturing, warehouse, die-cutting in a print shop, census taker, data entry, phone sales, cub reporter, teaching assistant, tutor, adult education teacher, substitute teacher short & long-term at the secondary level, etc. (Note: I don’t consider any of my teaching jobs “Mickey Mouse,” no, quite the contrary, they were often the most gratifying jobs I’ve ever held, just wish I could do more teaching but the system says you must have a “credential.”
  9. My strongest skills, abilities, or skills are; reading, writing, speaking, listening, creative problem solving, learning ability, leading others, being a team player, inspiring others, & motivating others.
  10. I’m a voracious reader, have been all my life. I’ve collected a personal library of approx. 10,000 books mostly in political science, history, philosophy, classical literature. I’ve read several hundred of them and make copious notes in the blank pages with my own coding system. I paraphrase or copy verbatim passages I want to show others or use for future writing projects.
  11. When i first started college, I scored so low on the English Placement Test that they put me in what we used to call “Bone-head English” where I sat with headphones & a cassette player listening to “See Dick & Jane, See Spot, etc.” took it for a week and then dropped the class. Five years later at a different community college, I took the placement test again and this time I scored in the top 10%. And after switching majors from business to oceanography to philosophy (first subject that really inspired me), I ended-up as an English Literature major and earned my B.A. in it after 14 years of dropping-out, changing majors, etc. I’d drop-out of some classes half-way or even three-quarters of the way through a class & although I didn’t get the college credit, I obviously still learned while I was there. (By the way, the only thing I can figure as to why my scores on the English Placement test improved so drastically is that in this 5 year period, I went to Europe 3 times I believe and I met several very well-educated Europeans who recommended great authors to me & I read like a fiend. Some say that we pick up sort of in an osmosis sense, higher skills when we read higher caliber authors?
  12. Over the last several years, I have developed a friendship with Noam Chomsky, the world-renown linguist & political activist. Some have called Chomsky the most important intellectual alive. I correspond with Chomsky via e-mail and he has honored me by responding to my e-mails. He confided to me that the only class he failed in high school was grammar. Isn’t that interesting? (some may think this is quite a boast on my part, well, if you doubt me, let me know & I’ll share something with you)
  13. I met and married a wonderful woman who was already a teacher when I met her and was finishing up her Master’s degree. We had a son together and he’s a very hard-working, ambitious young man who is married and buying a house.
  14. Our son has severe asthma and has spent many nights in the hospital but never alone.
  15. When I was in elementary school, my classmates always asked the teacher  to read my stories because of my vivid imagination & story telling abilities, I guess?
  16. When I turned 50, I finally learned to silence my inner-critic and picked-up where I’d left off many years earlier on a major project. I call it Truth Against the World and I have completed over 2,000 pages so far on this, perhaps my magnum opus?
  17. I’ve met a number of celebrities including Timothy Leary who complimented me with “You’re a deep thinker.” Here are some of the celebrities I’ve met and admire: Joan Baez (met her twice & have a pic of her & me); Abbie Hoffmann; John Trudel; John Lily (movie “Altered States” was based on his life); Karl Hess (former speechwriter for Barry Goldwater); Doris Lessing; Ken Kesey; John Stockwell (highest ranking C.I.A. officer to speak out against their illegal activities); Robert Scheer (I.F. Stone said he was America’s greatest living journalist); Buckminster Fuller (didn’t actually meet him but got to be there for one of his last lectures, a few months before he passed away); Alexander Cockburn (another brave journalist).  Have several autographs.
  18. I’ve been to Europe 9 times, sometimes on a one-way ticket with a couple hundred bucks in my pocket. Went hungry for 3 days, slept on park benches, moved furniture as an under the table, illegal worker but wouldn’t trade any of these experiences. Spent a month hitch-hiking around two of the Hawaiian Islands on a one way ticket and with $80 in my pocket. Spent a month in Ecuador. Drove to the tip of Baja California with a friend in 1974 & had a spooky experience.
  19. Without a doubt, the best job I ever had was as an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher at Van Nuys High School in the San Fernando Valley area of greater Los Angeles. The students were mostly from El Salvador, Mexico, & Nicaragua and had seen atrocities I hope I never have to witness. They were such a joy to work with that I volunteered my help for free on Saturdays at the local library. One day after school when I was checking out in the main office, the secretary told me that the principal wanted to interview me. It was the principal, the ESL dept. chairperson, & the English dept. chairperson. At the end of the interview, the principal offered me a choice of a year-long teaching position in either dept. I naturally chose the ESL position but because I hadn’t completed 6 units towards my teaching credential, the district wouldn’t renew my long-term substitute credential. When I told my students that I had to move on, several of the girls started crying & tears came to my eyes as well. I left the room out of embarrassment & each time I’d be back at the school subbing in another classroom and I’d run into one of my former students, they’d implore me “When are you coming back to be our teacher?” I have several letters from these students that I treasure. I also have a petition from an adult night school class I taught ESL to. Again, the bureaucrats spoiled a good thing & these students took it upon themselves to write a petition testifying to how much they liked me as a teacher & wanted me to continue to be their teacher, simply because I treated them with respect.
  20. My mother passed away on October 31, 1996 and her two sisters nominated me to be the sole executor because my sisters were having problems with drugs. I suggested that my Aunt Sylvia who lived in Las Vegas be my co-executor so everything would have to be co-signed by each of us and my sisters couldn’t accuse me of ripping them off. It was a nightmare and I fired the first probate lawyer & the second one wasn’t much better. It took two years but my conscience is clear and I honored my mom’s wishes.
  21. I started a blog about two years ago and am not very good at marketing myself but I’m working on it and take great pride in the work I’ve done on it. I want to start doing podcasts because I’ve had several people over the years suggest that I’d make a good D.J. because of my voice. The last person to compliment me on my voice is the Chorus teacher at the middle school I worked at for 4 years.
  22. On the highly respected Myers-Briggs personality test, I scored as an INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) approximately 1% of the American public.
  23. Four years ago I bought a used 5th wheel which is 29 ft. in length and I call it my mini-apt. on wheels. I have done quite a bit of traveling with it and love the sense of freedom. As long as I have money in my pocket, I can move on down the road whenever I feel like it. It has been stressful at times when towing it because my truck isn’t quite as powerful as it should be.
  24. The first summer after my mother passed away, I had a chunk of money and figured it’d be a good time to take my son to Europe because he’d be a teenager in a few years and wouldn’t want to hang out with dad. It was a bit scary because of his asthma but we took backpacks, stayed in youth hostels mostly, and had Eurrail passes. We also did a bit of hitch-hiking and it was a very special memory that I will treasure until the day I die. We spent the month of August 1997 traveling around Europe and slept in the dirt and stayed at a 5 star hotel and spent the last 3 days camped out inside Gatwick airport because I knew that I was getting pretty low on funds.
  25. On the subject of dancing, I vividly remember my first sock-hop when I was in the 7th grade and I stood there watching everybody dancing and having fun but I didn’t have a clue as to how to dance. Said to myself, this isn’t going to happen again. So, whenever my mom, brother, & sisters were gone, I’d practice dancing to an A.M. radio in front of my mom’s dresser mirror. And when I started going to Europe and saw how open-minded they are about guys dancing alone, girls dancing together, etc. it freed me. I used to get bummed-out so many times because I’d ask several girls to dance and was often turned down. But Europe liberated me and from then on,  I’d ask a few gals to dance but if they didn’t want to, I’d get out and dance by myself. It was amusing at times because sometimes the bouncers would come up and tell me to sit down & I’d tell them that they should be paying me because I was amusing the other customers. And sometimes, gals would jump out on the dance floor and join me because they were attracted to my spirit I guess? I say it liberated me because no longer was whether I was going to have a good time, in the hands of a stranger.
  26. And finally, but certainly not least, I just want to brag that my ex-wife is my best friend. Whenever she has a major project like painting her house, repairing a section of her fence that’s fallen down, splitting wood from a tree she’s had felled, etc. I jump at the opportunity to help her out  because she’s bailed my ass out of several situations like my being stuck over in Europe with no money & no ticket home.

 

 

So, bottom-line, if any of you employers out there or private individuals who could possibly use some help, are interested in a guy who perseveres, dares to break the conventional rules, is adventurous, loves learning, has great people skills as well as great communication skills, etc. contact me and let’s talk!

Rob DeLoss

 

www.corporatecockroaches.com

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